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The ELKERS Reunion
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Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by
your birthday. The Chinese
Zodiac uses the year of your birth to describe you.
Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for,
what you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, The Dilbert Corporate Zodiac goes a step further:
Simply by your department or job title, we have you all figured
out...
MARKETING
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in
college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is
essentially, what your job responsibilities are now.
You are least compatible with Sales.
SALES
Most annoying of all signs, you are often referred to as
“marketing without a degree”, you are also self-centered and paranoid.
Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you
avoid contact with “customers” so you can “concentrate on the big
picture”.
You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your
life.
TECHNOLOGY
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are
instead content to completely control everything that happens at your work
place. Often YOU don’t
understand what you are saying, but who can tell?
It is written “that the Geeks shall inherit the
Earth”.
ENGINEERING
One of the only two signs that actually studied in
school, it is said that 90% of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers.
You can be happy with yourself; your office is typically full of
all the latest “ergo-dynamic” gadgets.
However, we all know what is really causing your “carpal
tunnel”.
ACCOUNTING
The only other sign that studied in school (because you
were too socially retarded to do otherwise), you are mostly immune from
office politics. You are the
most feared person in the organization.
This combined with your extremist organizational traits, the
majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.
HUMAN
RESOURCES
Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization.
Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing,
you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a
haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
MIDDLE
MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/TEAM LEADERS
Catty, cut-throat, completely spineless, you are destined
to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.
Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by
the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself.
Best suited to marry other Middle Managers as everyone in
your social circle is a Middle Manager.
SENIOR
MANAGEMENT
Catty, cut-throat, completely spineless, you are destined
to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.
Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by
the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself.
Best suited to marry other Senior Managers, as everyone
in your social circle is a Senior Manager.
CUSTOMER
SERVICE
Bright, cheery, positive, you are a Fifty-Cent cab ride
from taking your own life. As
a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your
room and a headset so you could pretend to play “Customer Service”.
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is
to sleep with your manager.
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