The ELKERS Reunion Site - 
Looks at the Lighter Side of Reunions, Aging, and Life in General! 

Actual Business Signs

On an Electrician's truck:  “Let Us Remove Your Shorts.”

Outside a Radiator Repair Shop:  “Best Place In Town To Take A Leak.”

In a Non-smoking area:  “If We See You Smoking We Will Assume You Are On Fire And Take Appropriate Action.”

On Maternity Room door:  “Push, Push, Push.”

On a Front Door:  “Everyone On The Premises Is A Vegetarian Except The Dog.”

At an Optometrist's Office:  “If You Don't See What You're Looking For, You've Come To The Right Place.”

On a Scientist's door:  “Gone Fission.”

On a Taxidermist's window:  “We Really Know Our Stuff.”

In a Podiatrist's window:  “Time Wounds All Heels.”

On a Butcher's window:  “Let Me Meat Your Needs.”

On another Butcher's window:  “Pleased To Meat You.”

At a Used Car Lot:  “Second Hand Cars In First Crash Condition.”

On a fence:  “Salesmen Welcome.  Dog Food Is Expensive.”

At a Car Dealership:  “The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet – Miss A Car Payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:  “No Appointment Necessary.  We'll Hear You Coming.”

Outside a Hotel:  “Help!  We Need Inn-Experienced People.”

In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium:  “Drop Your Pants Here.”

On a desk in a Reception Room:  “We Shoot Every 3rd Salesman, And The 2nd One Just Left.”

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:  “Be Back In 5 Minutes.  Sit!  Stay!”

On a Music Teacher's door:  “Out Chopin.”

At the Electric Company:  “We Would Be Delighted If You Send In Your Bill.  However, If You Don't,  You Will Be.”

In a Beauty Shop:  “Dye Now!”

At another Beauty Shop:  “Curl Up & Dye”

At a Diner Specializing in Breakfast:  “You Might Find Better Biscuits, But You Can't Beat Our Meat.”

On the door of a Computer Store:  “Out For A Quick Byte.”

In a Restaurant window:  “Don't Stand There And Be Hungry, Come In And Get Fed Up.”

Inside a Bowling Alley:  “Please Be Quiet.  We Need To Hear A Pin Drop.”

On the door of a Music Library:  “Bach In A Minuet.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:  “Drive Carefully, We'll Wait.”

In a Counselor's office:  “Growing Old Is Mandatory.  Growing Wise Is Optional.”